Mother/Daughter Trip to Paris: A Top 10 List for the City of Lights

From the moment I found out that I was pregnant with a girl nearly a decade ago, I told my husband that I was going to take her to Paris for her tenth birthday.  To be honest, I don’t know why I said it.  Maybe it was because I missed having a glass of wine and eating unpasteurized cheese.  Or perhaps it’s because he and I had never been there together as he’s not one who enjoys shopping or visiting museums (a wine tour through Burgundy would be a different story).  Nevertheless, it became a promise to myself and to my daughter that I was determined to keep.  This June, Annabel and I were fortunate to be able to take our mother-daughter trip to Paris, marking her tenth and my fortieth birthdays.  It was a fantastic celebration of the past ten years of our life together.  I am so grateful that she came into my life and made me a mother.  However, as the mom to multiple kids, I rarely get the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with her.  This trip provided us with an uninterrupted week together and the chance to tighten our bond before she starts middle school in the fall.  We bonded over fashion and art and writing and food.  Each night before we went to sleep, we discussed what had gone wrong (like the Metro), what had gone right (almost everything), and what we had loved.  From those discussions, I put together Annabel’s top 10 list of things to do in Paris.   She told me that the best part of the trip, which is not included in the list, was spending time with just me.  Here is the list of recommendations in case you have a trip to Paris in your future.

Annabel’s Top 10 Favorite Things To Do in Paris

1)     A Tour of the Louvre – At the recommendation of a family we met at our hotel, we took a kids’ tour of the Louvre through www.parismuse.com (the site also offers adult tours).  Though it was quite expensive, it was well worth the money.  Our guide, Claire, created a 2 hour scavenger hunt through the museum for Annabel and I.  She presented Annabel with a timeline filled with symbols that she had to find as we went from one gallery to the next.  We would have missed so many interesting facts and details about the sculptures and paintings had we not had a guide.  During the tour, we visited the old fortress in the basement and learned about the symbols the masons used to “sign” the stone blocks they made.  Many of the symbols were variations of hearts.  I also learned that the reason there are so many paintings of the Virgin Mary and Jesus is that families used to hire artists to paint such scenes and then donate them to their churches as a sign of their faith.  We were told that the reasons the Mona Lisa is so famous include 1) she was painted as a gift for Mona Lisa, but after the two years it took to finish the painting, it was never given to her 2) da Vinci painted her to seem like she is looking and smiling at you no matter where you stand in the room and 3) she was stolen in 1911.  In order to get her back, pictures of the paining were published everywhere so that, in the event the thief tried to steal her, he would be discovered.

2)     The Galleria Lafayette – Annabel, like her Aunt Meri, has a flair for colorful fashion.  She and I were both in awe of the Galleria Lafayette, just behind the Opera in Paris.  Not only was the building beautiful, but it offered floor after floor of merchandise by every imaginable designer.  An entire floor was devoted to children’s clothing and accessories.  Helpful sales clerks were on hand to recommend outfits for Annabel, who bought several dresses, a pair of shoes and a Vanessa Bruno bag.  If you don’t have days to peruse boutiques throughout the city, this is a great one-stop-shop.  It also has a patisserie on the second floor with a table overlooking the mall.  The pastries are incredible and you can sit back and watch people shop or stare at the artwork on the ceiling.

3)     Dinner at le Relais de L’Entrecote – When a friend advised me to take Annabel to le Relais de L’Entrecote, I was a little skeptical of dining at a restaurant that only serves salad, steak and steak frites.  However, in good faith, we showed up five minutes before it opened at 7 p.m. to get in line.   As is obvious from its #3 rating on her list, Annabel (and I) loved this restaurant.  The waitresses were dressed in darling black and white dresses.  They were delightful, I imagine because they were high on the sumptuous aroma that fills the place.  True to what my friend said, the waitress only asked what we wanted to drink and how we liked our steak before delivering a salad with a tangy dressing, followed by steak and steak frites in the most amazing sauce I think I’ve ever had.  At one point during our meal, Annabel and I were trying to guess what could be in the sauce that made it so mouthwateringly good.  She guessed butter, I suspected some dill and other herbs.  A waitress plating food nearby laughed out loud and told us that it was secret, but she was sure there was some tarragon in the sauce.  I noticed other diners got quiet and leaned into hear if she would say more about the special green sauce.  The restaurant does offer a choice of dessert.  We ordered a tower of meringue and ice cream that did not disappoint.  As we left the restaurant at 8:30, we noticed that the line went down the block.  If you decide to visit le Relais de L’Entricote, I recommend getting in line by 7 p.m.

4)     A French Desserts Cooking Class – There is something so elegant about French cooking.  It’s like an art form of its own.  To understand it better, Annabel and I enrolled in a French desserts cooking class.  We booked one through American Express that was taught by a French chef in his kitchen.  Friends we made in the class, also recommended another, Cook’n With Class in Paris.  Chef Frederic spoke with us about using proper equipment (heavy copper bottom pots, pastry weights, gloves to knead the dough by hand, silicone muffin trays) and taught us tricks like the spoon test to assess if a cream sauce has finished cooking.  We learned how to make profiteroles, lava cake in vanilla cream, and a lemon tart.  At the end of the class, we got to eat the creations.  As you can see in the photo below, there wasn’t a crumb left.  One of the women in our class asked chef Frederic why Parisians aren’t overweight given their penchant for cooking with butter.  He said there were two reasons:  Parisians walk everywhere and don’t snack in between meals.  Two good things to remember!

5)     The Pont des Artes – We landed in Paris at 6:45 a.m. on a Saturday.  In order to make the best of the day, we had eaten dinner at the airport and slept for the duration of the flight.  After checking into Hotel Brighton, we headed off to explore the Musee d'Orsay.  Much to our good fortune, we had to cross the Pont des Artes in order to get there.  As we crossed the bridge, we noticed that it was covered in personalized locks.  We spent a good 45 minutes on the bridge reading the locks, and then bought and personalized our own.  Leaving the lock felt a bit symbolic – as if we were able to make our own small impression on the City.

6)     The Sacre Couer & Montmartre –  Situated on the highest hill in Paris, the Sacre Couer is lovely and easy to navigate.  A mass was going on as we walked around the old basilica.  Afterward, we watched performers outside and then strolled through charming Montmartre.  The town is filled with cafes, souvenir shops and artists selling their wares.  We ate a delicious dinner at a brasserie and I bought a painting of a ballerina for my younger daughter’s bedroom.

7)     The Pompidou – After three days of looking at traditional French architecture and art from the Renaissance to the Impressionist movements, the Pompidou was a welcome change.  The building itself seems to defy Parisian architecture rules.  The architects of the Pompidou wanted the public to see the brilliant colors of the “insides” of the building, including blue air conditioning ducts, yellow electric lines, green water pipes and red escalators.  Annabel had requested to visit the Pompidou simply because she liked saying the name.  Once she saw the building, she knew she was in for a treat.  The museum was not crowded when we arrived shortly after 6 p.m.  There were jugglers and balloon artists in the sloping piazza leading to the entrance of the Pompidou.  The art in the museum engaged many senses including sight, touch and smell.  I have to admit that I didn’t “get” some of it, like the silent room insulated with felt or the mounds of aluminum foil on display, but we had fun exploring many of the pieces.  Annabel really enjoyed the Winter Garden, Matisse’s cut-outs, and trying to make sense of Picasso’s paintings.  We chose to go in the evening (the museum is open until 9 p.m.) so that we could spend an hour or two walking through the galleries and then head up to the Observation deck to eat a light dinner and watch the sunset over Paris.  It was a perfect night.

8)     The Haute Couture Exhibit at the Hotel de Ville – One of Annabel’s friends recommended that I take my fashionista daughter to the Haute Couture exhibit at the Hotel de Ville.  It was free and displayed dresses by some of Paris’ best designers.  We went through and picked out what dresses and suits we would have worn, and which ones we couldn’t believe anyone wore.

9)     The Eiffel Tower at night with twinkle lights – What is a trip to Paris without seeing the Eiffel Tower?  Our favorite view of the tower was at night when it displayed its twinkling lights.  We took a night time cruise on the Seine and it dazzled us as we drifted down the river.  We also enjoyed going up in the Eiffel Tower, but I wouldn’t recommend advance booking tickets for a mid-day time slot like we did.  Instead, I would get to the Eiffel Tower shortly before it opens at 9:30 for a visit that’s a little less crowded without much wait time.  Then, walk back to the Champ de Mars park and take photos with the tower in the background.

10)Cheese and pastries everyday – Over any of the other sites we visited in Paris, including the Notre Dame, Versailles, and the Arc de Triumph, the food we ate completes Annabel’s top 10 list.  She and I avoided fast food and tried all kinds of French dishes on our trip.  The ones we liked best involved cheese and pastries, which we ate with pleasure everyday.  There was a place called Angelina’s right next to our hotel that had the best macaroons (and a great brunch).  We loved the goat cheese salad (although it didn’t taste like any goat cheese I’ve had before) from a chain restaurant called Brasserie Salon de The, which also made an incredible chocolate/banana crepe with Chantilly.  Luckily, we walked all over the city, through the parks and museums and the cobblestone streets, so I returned home no heavier than when I left for Paris.

Posing outside of the Hotel de Ville 

Making our own exhibit outside of the Louvre

The artist of this painting did not do his subject the same

favors that da Vinci did for Mona Lisa

Can you find the hearts left by the masons?

Chef Frederic demonstrating the spoon test

Our lava cake in vanilla creme sauce

We ate every last crumb

The Pont des Artes

 Our lock

 

The painting I bought in Montmartre

 

Exploring the "Winter Garden" at the Pompidou 

Acting out Matisse's Cutouts on the 5th Floor

The Twinkling Eiffel Tower

 

Ah Paris, how we will miss you!

 

A "Murder On the Grill"

If you are looking for a fun way to spend an evening with friends this summer, I recommend having a potluck dinner and playing a Murder On the Grill, from Amazon.com.  I think you’ll find yourself with a cheap night at home that has you laughing long after the night ends.  My friends and I did just that on the last night of school for our kids.  Everyone took their assigned roles and rolls seriously.

Set in the ‘50s, the game called for people to arrive dressed as greasers, pink ladies, used car salesmen, actors and rocket scientists.  I wore my bridesmaid’s dress from my sister’s wedding, along with a sash and a tiara as Miss Kansas City.  Though the game identified 8 characters, I created partner roles like Ronnie the Pink Lady for Johnny Angel, Svetlana the wife of Ivan the rocket scientist, Rockin Sue - groupie of Chubby Cheddar the rock star.  The food was simple – anything appropriate for a barbecue – salad, bbq chicken, steak, corn on the cob and pie.  That coupled with Happy Days playing in the background and some games like a hula hoop contest and best character award finished off the evening.  It far surpassed an evening at a nice restaurant, and it incorporated our kids as well (my son won the hula hoop contest).   Any entertainment that takes us back to the “good old days” sure beats an evening of new technology in my book!

The girls....

The boys...

Who's the "bad guy?"

"Go Andrew!"

Thank you David, for challending my son in the hula hoop contest.  Sorry you lost!

The Great Sports Debate

I received two notes yesterday and was struck by the paradox of their messages.  The first was the monthly mailing from my son’s school.  On the front page was a message from the headmaster which is usually a good read.  The theme – Don’t Overdo It – applied to over-parenting.  He wrote:  “Over-parenting, in our immediate environment, can take many forms.  For younger students, examples can include:  6 a.m. or 9 p.m. weekday ice skating practices for various town/select teams or even private power-skating lessons.”  There were a few other examples listed, like intense tutoring sessions.  When I read this, I breathed a sigh of relief.  My husband and I grew up in the Midwest.  The sports we played at a young age were through churches and country clubs.  We didn’t grow up in an area where kids were playing travel sports in first grade, practicing daily on sport courts and ice rinks in their backyard, or working with private coaches on a weekly basis to improve their skills at warp speed.  Some of the best athletes at my high school emerged at an older age.  Some had never played a sport until middle school, and then became the star wrestler, runner and basketball player.  But that was before the publication of books like Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers and Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom.

The second was an email from the Athletic Coordinator of an organization where my first-grade son and third-grade daughter play hockey.  We chose this program for my children’s introductory year to the sport because it was part of an organization whose mission is to, “enable all young people, especially those who need us most, to reach their full potential as productive, caring responsible citizens.” 

The coordinator’s email read, “Parents, We have made a few changes that will affect the next few weekends.  1st change is that all of next weekend Feb. 5, games have been canceled and instead of the games the coaches have chosen 2 All Star teams to showcase the players hard work and dedication to success thus far this season.  The All Star game will take place this Sunday Feb. 5th  at 3:15PM.  The All-Star Rosters are attached and will be posted on the bulletin board in the rink.”

When I read this, it struck me as ironic that the headmaster of an all-boys private school would dissuade over-parenting with private coaches and intense practice schedules at a young age, while the local sports club would not only encourage it, but would penalize the kids who don’t have that opportunity by canceling their games last minute and denying them access to their ice time.

This irony represents the great sports debate that my husband and I are currently facing.  Do we succumb to what is going on in the sports leagues around us to give our children every opportunity to excel at sports they enjoy at an early age?  This means less time together as a family since we’d be traveling in different directions on the weekends and less vacations to foot the steep bills for private coaching and multiple sports leagues.  It also means our kids could be exhausted at school due to 9:30 p.m. bedtimes and 5:30 a.m. risings. 

Or do we draw the line and let them face the consequences of being less skilled than their teammates, having games canceled last minute, being called out by their coaches for not “working hard enough,” because they aren't on a second travel team, etc.  I realize we could let them choose by taking them to the All-Star games this weekend and sharing with them the Athletic Coordinator’s message, but at ages 6 and 8, I don’t know that they can fully comprehend the true costs to our family or what the possible rewards would be.  Could they end up with a hockey scholarship to college or a big bonus as an NHL player someday if they give all of themselves to the sport now?  Could they end up with a serious injury from being checked in a high school game?  Even I, the parent who should know better, can’t answer these questions.

Personally, I have appreciated the sports I played growing up for their life lessons such as how to work on a team, how to win, how to lose, how to strategize, how to be a leader, how to be a follower, and how to have fun while accomplishing a goal.  Am I under-parenting by identifying such simple goals for my children?  Will simple goals prevent my kids from being able to play sports in their elementary school years?  I guess it depends whose point of view I consider.

Family Induced ADD

F.I.A.D.D. is a big problem in my house.  Before I had children, I’d heard about baby brain (when your brain turns to mush after childbirth).  Whether it’s a real condition or whether I lost some brain cells due to the lack of sleep, I definitely became more forgetful after having children.  I've misplaced keys, library books, grocery items that I know I put in my cart, invitations to events, and school flyers sent home in my kids' backpacks.  Furthermore, I am easily distracted and seem to have difficulty completing tasks that require my full attention. 

A few months ago, one of my friends suggested that she suffered from Mom ADD.  When I Googled the subject online, it came up with a bunch of articles geared toward moms who had been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder when they were younger.  This is not the kind of ADD that my friend and I have.  We did not experience these symptoms before age 7, we developed them after age 27.  Our ADD is specific to our situation – being a mom to multiple children.  It’s what I call Family Induced Attention Deficit Disorder (F.I.A.D.D.).  Take tonight for example, as I was baking Costco pizzas and chopping fruit for dinner my daughter and her friend came running into the kitchen squealing with delight that they’d just finished filming their latest movie – Adventures in Atlantis – and launched into a long summary of the movie (which took about as long as the 15 minute movie is).  As this was going on, my son came in saying, “Mom, watch me!  Mom, time me!” as he tried for his personal best handstand which took 23 attempts.  The commotion caused my 2-year old who’d just drifted off to sleep in the family room to wake up crying.  She cried through dinner.  The pizzas cooked longer than I would’ve liked.  The dry cleaning delivery man arrived in the middle of all of the activity and I forgot to put the clothes away, which didn’t make my husband happy.  My friend called with a change in plans for the weekend, but I can’t remember what the new plans are because I didn’t enter them into my calendar right away.  I was too busy timing my son’s handstands, which is why the timer didn’t go off when the pizzas were done.  And the cordless phone is missing.  I think it might be buried under the pile of chiffon prom dresses on my family room floor.  Oh well.  What can I do?  I have F.I.A.D.D. 

I don't know what the cure for F.I.A.D.D. is, but if it involves the elimination of the chaos that comes from being mom to three exuberant children, I'm not interested.  The people around me are just going to have to deal with my forgetfulness. 

My daughter, wearing my junior prom dress, and her friend summarizing their

film as my son does handstands in the background.

My 2 year old expressing her discontent at being woken up from her nap, all through dinner

Accident Prevention

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged.  With three small children, two new schools and a new house, time has gotten the best of me.  However, recent events have encouraged me to add to my blog because I cannot make sense of them.

On Christmas day 2011, a horrific tragedy occurred less than 15 minutes from where I live.  A house fire took the lives of three small children and their heroic grandparents who never left their sides during the fire – I’m sure a small comfort to their living parents.  As a mom, there is nothing worse I can imagine.  To lose all of my children on one day is inconceivable.  It has my community in an uproar.

I remember a number of years ago, seeing the cover of a PEOPLE magazine in an airport with the headline, “EVERY PARENT’S WORST NIGHTMARE.”  As a parent, I promptly bought the magazine to read about what my worst nightmare could be.  I learned that it couldn’t be my worst nightmare, because it couldn’t happen on my watch.  Parents had left their 3 year old daughter, Maddy (who was the same age as my oldest daughter), and one and a half year old twins alone in their room unsupervised while they went out to dinner at their resort in Portugal.  They came home to find their 3 year old missing.  Tragic, yes.  Irresponsible, yes.  I was only slightly relieved that it couldn’t happen to me because I would never leave my young children at home without myself or a trusted sitter.  I felt terrible for the family and the missing girl.

Fast forward to the news on Christmas day this year.  A mother celebrating Christmas with her boyfriend and her three daughters and two parents loses five of them due to a tragic fire.  Every parent’s worst nightmare, right?  Yet, hers was highly preventable on several counts.  First, she didn’t have working smoke or heat alarms in her house and knowing this, lit a fire in the fireplace.  Second, she hired her boyfriend to renovate the house, who wasn’t licensed in the state of Connecticut to do so, so things were not done correctly.  Third, the boyfriend was given the task to dispose of the ashes in the fireplace on Christmas Eve and he, a builder, disposed of them against a main wall of the house that his team had recently constructed, which quickly ignited into flames.  Fourth, her family likely didn’t have a fire safety plan (how to exit the house and where to meet in the case of a fire).  Apparently, she and her boyfriend fled the house and he tried to go back into save her daughters.  According to early news reports, he had two of her daughters with him but lost them in the fire.  I cannot imagine how that is possible.  Two scared six year olds able to overpower a very large 40+ year old man and run away from him so that he had nothing to do but save himself.  I’m sorry if that sounds harsh, but I don't know if I could accept the fact that someone I loved either abandoned my children in a fire he started or made up the story that he had gone back to save them if he didn’t.  It certainly makes one of the latest PEOPLE magazine stories I’ve read seem more important – Mark Anthony trying to prevent Jennifer Lopez from allowing her children to spend time with her new boyfriend.  This may cause a new clause in divorce cases where anyone who spends time with an exes’ children because of a new relationship, must sign a responsibility agreement for your children or be forbidden to spend time with them.  I bet that the ex-husband who lost his three daughters to the fire caused by his ex-wife’s boyfriend would’ve done anything to prevent the tragedy, including such a clause.

I read that the family is starting a foundation for their daughters – a beautiful thing to do.  I hope that the foundation helps to promote accident prevention (such as fire safety awareness).  I’d love to see legislation changes that require things like working fire alarms and carbon monoxide detectors in any inhabitable building and proper disposal of ashes, etc.  Here is some information about ash disposal to help prevent such a tragedy in the future:

According to the National Fire Protection Association, many house fires are caused by improper removal and disposal of ashes and embers from a fireplace or wood-burning insert or stove. Ashes should be removed with an ash shovel and placed in a metal ash container with a bottom edge that keeps the base of the container off of the floor. The container should be covered. then taken outside. Ashes should be placed on the ground or on a concrete structure where no combustible materials such as leaves or twigs are near. The ashes should be thoroughly wetted with a hose or take a container of water along with the ashes, pour water over them, then cover the ashes with dirt. Ash containers are available at specialty hearth stores or online.  Ashes can smolder for days.

The Quest for a Christmas Card Photo

Every year around Columbus Day, I start to panic about the family Christmas card photo.  One of my favorite parts about the holidays is going out to my mailbox in December and finding a stack of Christmas cards.  I love seeing other people's family photos, dressed-up dogs, holiday drawings and yes, even their newsletters.  I know that I must give to receive, and to give I must capture a picture that motivates me to create a card, have it printed, and send out my mailing. 

Unfortunately, the task is not an easy one for several reasons.  Number one, I'm not a skilled photographer.  Every few years, a camera makes it onto my Christmas list because the one I have doesn't take great pictures (hmn, I wonder why).  Number two, my subject matter is not compliant.  My three young kids don't sit and smile on command, despite my effort to chant words that I think will make them laugh.  Number three, I usually don't have the time or attention span to coordinate outfits, make sure everyone's hair is brushed back and corale them in front of a good backdrop for pictures.  Call it lazy if you want. 

This year, we spent the long weekend for Columbus Day at Mohonk Mountain House.  With its breathtaking lake and hills, I thought it would make a great backdrop for our family Christmas photo.  In between activities like horseback riding, fishing, hiking and dining, I organized family photo opportunities.  The kids were sick of posing by our second day.  I took over a hundred photos of the trip.  Though there was no clear winner, I am going to use my creativity to make one of the photos I took work for the card.  Here are some of the less-than-winning photos that did not make the cut.

Where's Caroline?

Quit pulling your brother's hair.

Eyes opened, not closed!

 Look at the camera!

Saying Gaga (my dad's nickname) doesn't lend itself to a nice smile.

Just one good shot, please???

 

Fun With Back to School Shopping

One highlight of our recent vacation in South Carolina was some unexpected back-to-school shopping.  After several days of soaking up a little too much sun on the beach, my friends and I decided to take our kids shopping while our husbands spent the morning golfing.  There aren't too many stores that can entertain our busy gang of children, who range in age from 2 to 8.  Since school would be starting within the month, we hit up Kohls hoping to check some items off of our list.  We were not disappointed.
 All was quiet when we entered the store at 10 a.m. on Sunday.  There were enough carts for each kid to have his own.  Within seconds we were trailing after them as they filled the carts with items from their lists. 

Our daughters ended up with at least 20 dresses in their carts.  They were shopping for their big fall event - the Father/Daughter Dance.  Though they had their choice of dressing rooms, they squeezed into one.  What is more fun than a party in the fitting room with your friends?  Certainly not cleaning up after one (thanks for taking the lead on that, Paulette!).

Our sons stuffed their carts with tee-shirts and sports shorts.  Those weren't on my son's list, but I did buy him a few that were on sale. 

My two year old fell in love with a Dora nightgown and a dress that came with a matching doll dress.  The set was much cheaper than one I'd bought her at American Girl in the spring.  I'm a sucker for a bargain, as are my friends Monique and Paulette.  With bathing suits and sandals marked down 75%, we bought the kids some for our YTBP (yet-to-be-planned) spring vacations.  I guess the kids and I will be going someplace warm.  I couldn't pass up these silver sandals for $4.99.

We also found some Stuart Weitzman knock-off heels in a great taupe color for a fraction of the designer price.

When we finally made it to the registers to pay, afer our nearly two hour escapade, we learned that we could save an additional 30% off the prices if we opened a Kohls account.  We had so much fun that we decided it was worth it.