The McLaughlin Wedding Trilogy

My brother and sisters got engaged within a few months of each other.  This resulted in the McLaughlin Wedding Trilogy – three family weddings in one year.  Despite their very different locations (an art institute in Indianapolis, a beach in San Diego, a courtyard in Mackinac Island), there were many similarities.  Each wedding shared a beautiful bride and groom, a beaming father of the bride, a teary-eyed mother of the groom, adorable flower girls and ringbearer (my children), a devoted group of fans, planned surprises (like a musical toast and an A Capella singing group), unplanned surprises (including a tardy band, misplaced flowers & wedding dress snafu), good music (from Motown to Rap) and a crowded dance floor.  Though stressful at times, it was an unexpected blessing to have a year of three celebratory family events (six if you count my father’s retirement party, his 65^th birthday party, and my brother’s business school graduation).  It’s been an amazing 12 months for the McLaughlin family.

In honor of the completion of the wedding trilogy this weekend, I thought I would highlight my favorite memory of each wedding.

-    The father/daughter dance at my baby sister’s wedding.  When Meri was a toddler, she contracted spinal meningitis and nearly died.  After several weeks in the hospital, she came home with a warning from her doctor that she might not fully recover to play sports.  And then she became the family gymnast.  My father turned our sunroom into her personal gym.  The most memorable part of her wedding was the tribute he gave to her in his toast.  He admitted to the groom that he may have spoiled her a little because of her shaky start in life.  This was followed by a very loving father/daughter dance during which, I swear,  I caught a glimpse of Meri as a little girl dancing in my father’s arms in our living room on Sargent Road.

-     The photo slide show at my sister Wendy’s wedding.  Wendy and Paul got married less than two years after they started dating.  Wendy was truly a blushing bride and Paul, a doting groom.  I’ve never seen a couple more in love on their wedding day.  At times, they seemed not to notice anyone else in the room.  At their reception, the photographer had compiled a slide show of photos from the wedding ceremony and post-ceremony photo session that played on a continuous reel in the bar.  You could see their sheer bliss at being married in every photo.

-     The bride and groom's first dance at my brother’s wedding.  Like all of the McLaughlins, my brother loves to dance.  I have videos of him as a young boy lip syncing to Michael Jackson with his own choreography (including his almost-famous chair jumps).  I knew his wife, Anissa, was his soul mate the first time I saw her hit the dance floor with Mike.  She shares his rhythm, for better or for worse.  His wedding would not have been complete without a momentous first dance.  His wedding guests were not disappointed.  Rather than describe it, I’ve decided to post it (with help from my brother-in-law Scott).  It starts off a little slow, but then Mike channels his inner Michael Jackson.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-89UY0WY52c

The Adorable Flower Girls & Ringbearer

Mike & Anissa - The Dancing King & Queen

Celebrating my wedding with my brother & sisters nearly a decade ago...





Scott & Meri At Their Beach Wedding 

A Teachable Moment

I received an email from my mom this morning that reminded me of the inherent goodness in people and how incredible acts of kindness leave an impression that lasts a lifetime.  I shared a child-friendly version of this story with my children, passing along my mom’s teachable moment to them.  I also want to share it on my blog.

Hi,

I thought I should tell you that Dr. George Rowe passed away on Friday.  I am sure that Ginger and Wendy remember the Rowes - not so sure that Meri & Mike would remember them.  George was a wonderful man.  He was at first a general surgeon and then became a pediatric surgeon.  He operated on Michael when Mike was two and I trusted him completely. 

When George was in medical school, my little sister was diagnosed with neuroblastoma.  The doctors in Terre Haute told my parents to "take her home and let her die" because there was nothing that could be done for that disease.  My dad called George and begged him to help our family.  George had my dad come to the IU Medical School library and they looked up everything written about neuroblastoma.  My dad was frantically trying to write everything down about it that he could.  There were no copy machines at that time.  When George saw my dad's exasperation, he tore the pages out of the books for him.  Perhaps not an ethical thing to do but he recognized the pain and urgency of a desperate father. 

One of the articles highlighted positive results when children with neuroblastoma contracted chicken pox.  The antibodies that fought the chicken pox virus apparently also fought the neuroblastoma cells.  George then helped my Dad orchestrate a plan to have children with active cases of chicken pox come and be exposed to my sister.  My dad placed ads in all major city newspapers in Indiana, offering to pay families $50 to bring their child to our house to play with my sister.  My brothers and I all came down with severe cases of chicken pox and our house was quarantined (something they did in those days).  Unfortunately, my sister never caught the chicken pox, but George would have done anything to help an ailing child and her mother and father.  As long as I knew him, his greatest gifts were his gift to heal and his offer of hope. 

George  was diagnosed with bile duct cancer in December.  He took chemo for four months, but did not have positive results. 

Dad and I will miss him and I will always remember how he gave my family hope when no one else did.

I attached his obituary if you would like to read it.

Love,

Mom

These Boots Were Made for Talking

I’m not a pack rat.  I’m fairly good at sorting through the clutter so that my 1950’s colonial (with closets built for that decade) isn’t overwhelmed with junk.  I know the rule of any good organizer is that if you go a year or two without wearing something, it should be tossed.  This is why I fell into despair when a pair of black pleather boots I’ve owned since my business school days were torn this winter.  In my opinion, these boots are irreplaceable.  They carried me through some of the best years of my life.  What other $40 boots look chic enough to wear with a black cocktail dress, yet are comfortable enough to dance in all night at a club in the Meat Packing District?   There isn’t much of New York City they haven’t covered.  I wore them to work in Mid Town, to dates on the Upper West Side, to the ballet at Lincoln Center, to school in Morningside Heights, to brunch in Soho, and to roam on the Upper Eastside after that fateful September 11^th.  Both of my daughters have played dress up in these boots – it’s quite funny to watch a two year old try to zip up an 18” boot on her 14” leg. 

Though my address has changed several times in the past decade, they hadn’t until one icy evening this winter when I fell on the way home from an evening out with friends.  As my legs slipped out from under me, my impulse was to protect myself, not my boots.  I’d thought they were indestructible.  I didn’t even realize that there was a large gash in the left boot until a week later when I put them on again.   

Because the boots are irreparable, they cannot be added to the very small pile in my closet that is kept for special occasions.  This pile includes a cowboy hat (although I wore it on a ski trip out West, it has also come in handy as a centerpiece for bbqs at my house), an airbrushed t-shirt that bears my name (great for ‘80s theme parties), and a bridesmaid dress that looked good on me the first time I wore it and could double as a prom party dress if I ever need one.  No, they fall into the category that my favorite black cotton dress fell into.  It was the perfect travel dress for the many backpacking adventures I took in my 20s – from France and Italy to Turkey, Thailand and Vietnam.  It doubled as a bathing suit cover up by day and a nice outfit for dinner at night.  It never wrinkled and it fit me just right.  After an accidental washing in a load with bleach, it was ruined and I tossed it out – a regret to this day.

I know it’s time to upgrade to a pair of real leather boots, but parting with these boots would be like parting with a big chunk of my history.  I considered bronzing them.  I had this done to each of my children’s first pair of walking shoes.  But, I don’t have a shelf large enough to display such a tremendous work of art.  This is why I’ve created an addendum to my rules of closet organization.  If I’ve worn something for 10 years or more, it gets a lifetime spot in my closet no matter what shape it’s in.  Who knows, the value of these boots may not yet have been realized.  Perhaps they’ll come in handy late in my life when my memory needs a jog.

The Path to Margaritaville

May means many things to many people:  Mother’s Day, the end of school, allergies, and time to garden.  For me, it also means golf season.  Golf is my husband’s favorite pastime.  He’d tee off everyday from May to November if he could.  Three years ago, I realized that once our kids are grown, golf will be the key to our marriage.  That’s when I decided to start my ten year golf plan.  As the busy mom of three little kids, finding the time to learn a new sport is not easy to do.  Squeezing in an hour or so a week for a month or two a year, is about all I can manage at this point.

Luckily, I was able to recruit some of my closest friends to adopt the 10 year golf plan with me.  It helped that my country club hosts a popular couple’s 9-hole event every July, called Margaritaville.  This event provides just the motivation we need to get our “act” together on the golf course, and by “act” I mean coordinated outfits and show-stopping performances, like balls that disappear and golf carts that float on water.

Learning to play golf, I have had to grow a thick skin.  My instructor does not hand out praise easily.  Any time I think I’ve hit the ball well (for example, when my club makes contact with the ball and sends it sailing straight ahead), he’ll say something like, “Ginger that was a good miss.” 

My group of golf novices has had a different goal each year.  The first year was about learning the lingo and how to use a few clubs that could get us through Margaritaville without looking like fools (the rescue club and the putter).  The next year we added more clubs and a bunch of tricks to remind us how to play with each one.  This year, we’re working on steps for improvement – ball placement, swing position and follow through.  Unfortunately for our golf instructor, we are not the most focused group of pupils.  One of our most recent golf clinics went something like this:

David, the head golf pro, said, “Okay ladies, I asked you to meet me at the practice green today to work on your pitching.”

My mind immediately started to wander.  “Hmn, Caroline pitched a fit this morning which is unlike her.  I wonder if she’s coming down with something,” I said.

“Maybe.  There’s a lot of things going around.  I’m not feeling well either.  I could really use a massage,” Julia responded.

“I miss seeing you guys.  We need to plan a lunch,” Monique added.

“What are you doing after this lesson?  Maybe the Club will open the dining room a little early for lunch,” Paulette said.

 “Great, does anyone have a watch?  How much longer until we can go eat?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m getting eaten alive by these enormous May bugs,” Julia whispered.

At this point, our instructor realized we were losing interest and introduced his prop of the day.  He’s used many over the three years we’ve been taking these golf clinics.  There was the scythe that we used to cut the grass.  It was supposed to help us level our swing, but resulted in a mess on the driving range lawn.  There was a mirror that we were supposed to use to check out our backswing.  But instead Paulette noticed that she needed a highlight, Monique commented that she’d like to lose two pounds and I couldn’t believe that my reflection was really me – golf outfits just aren’t flattering!  On this particular day, he introduced a pool cue.  We attached the cue to our clubs to stiffen our arms for the pitch.  It was what my instructor called, “breakthrough city” for me.  I’m glad something has actually worked.   Maybe this summer I’ll be able to get through Margaritaville without needing a margarita for confidence.  Stay tuned.

Team Lilly Pulitzer (2010) - Our Outfts Will be Better This Year

Come on David - That is Not a Miss!

My Unauthorized Disney Guide

I’ve had a fondness for Walt Disney World for many years.  First, as a child when I experienced “the magic of Disney” with my parents.  Then, as a student when I had the time of my life participating in Disney’s college program.  And finally now, as a mom when I take my kids there and share the "magic" with them.  Somehow, after each trip, I manage to forget about the massive crowds, greasy food, big expense and crazy scooter drivers long enough to plan another one.  It’s a little like childbirth in that respect.

Since I’ve been to Disney more times than I’d care to mention, friends often ask me for advice with their trip planning.  Here is my unofficial master list of tips for a good time at Walt Disney World.

Tip 1:  Buy Autograph Books Before Your Adventure Begins
It doesn’t matter how old my kids get, one of their favorite parts of a Disney vacation is collecting character photos and autographs.  It’s like a game to them.  How many character signatures can they get before the trip ends?  I take their picture with each character and develop the photos within a day of returning home so the kids can complete the books and take them to school.  The books are sold at any Disney gift shop and make an inexpensive souvenir.  You can get a listing of character “meet and greets” on your way into each Disney park so you know when and where to look for them.  If you are a multi-tasker, you may prefer to book a character breakfast or lunch where the characters come around to visit with you during your meal.  Character dinners are also available, but beware.  We ate at the princess dinner in Norway (Akershus Royal Banquet Hall) and found the food to be inedible.  We ended up splurging on room service afterward.  The character meals we like best are Cinderella’s Royal Table (in the castle) and Crystal Palace (with Winnie the Pooh and Friends) at Magic Kingdom, and Chef Mickey’s at the Contemporary.

Tip 2:  Go Early, Leave Early
My kids don't have the stamina to spend more than five hours at a park.  For park days, my goal is to arrive 10 minutes before the gates open and leave after lunch.  The first two hours of the morning are the golden hours at the parks.  There aren’t long lines for the rides, it’s not too hot and you aren’t likely to encounter angry tourists.  Most parks open with some kind of small show or parade.  If staying at a Disney resort during peak season, the parks will alternate days when they open an hour early for resort guests.  These are called Extra Magic Hours.  During our recent Disney vacation over President’s weekend, the Extra Magic Hours dictated which park I took the kids to each day.  We usually head back to the hotel for nap or pool time after lunch and then go out to an early dinner.  If your kids can do early mornings and late evenings, all the parks have great firework shows and light parades.  Park passes are good for the entire day allowing you to return after a refreshing break.

Happy Children at 8 a.m.

Not-So-Happy Children at 1:00 p.m.

Tip 3:  Assign a Dedicated Fast Passer
You can use your admission tickets in Fast Pass machines that are located in front of popular rides (park maps will indicate which ones).  These passes allow you to "cut" the lines at busy attractions.  The key is to start using your Fast Pass early because you can only get one fast pass per ticket every hour or two (the pass that prints out will tell you when you are eligible to get another one).  Thus, you may only be able to get three to five Fast Passes at each park before tiring out.  When I take the kids to a park, I collect everyone else’s admission tickets and make a beeline for our next Fast Pass attraction while my husband gets the kids a snack or takes them on a ride with no line.  It’s more efficient to have one person managing the Fast Pass process.

Tip 4:  Know Your Park Strategy
If you want someone to do your park day planning there are Disney VIP Guides ($$$), Disney Guides ($$) and Unauthorized Disney Guides ($ - my friend described her unauthorized guide as "a kooky uncle").  I have never used a guide but many of my friends have.  Instead, I plan my park strategy based on the rides that everyone in my family really wants to do.

At Magic Kingdom, we start in Fantasyland and knock out Dumbo, the Teacups and Racecars.  None of these rides have Fast Passes and their lines build up quickly.  Other favorites include:  Splash Mountain (Fast Pass), Space Mountain (Fast Pass), Buzz Light Year (usually no need to Fast Pass if you do it early), Peter Pan (Fast Pass), and Pirates of the Carribean.  The one ride we avoid is Stitch (it actually stinks).  Our favorite place to grab a snack as we exit the park is the bakery on Main Street.  It serves the most decadent chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches I’ve ever eaten.  It’s next door to Edy’s Ice Cream Parlour which makes kids’ cones with cookie mouse ears.

There's not too much to do at Disney’s MGM/Hollywood Studios because of its small size.  The two most popular rides are Toy Story and the Rock ‘n Roll Roller Coaster.  The best strategy is to Fast Pass one of these rides upon entering the park and immediately get in line for the other.  They tend to run out of Fast Passes when the park gets crowded.  My kids also like the American Idol Show and the Honey I Shrunk the Kids Playground.  Don’t waste your time at the Narnia ride.  There is nothing to that attraction.  The Great Movie Ride is kind of cute but references a lot of movies my kids haven’t seen (Alien, Casablanca, and Western movies).

I like to eat and drink my way through Epcot Center.  No matter what type of cuisine you crave, you are likely to find a restaurant that serves it in one of the 11 world showcase pavilions that represent countries like France, China, and Morocco.  Regardless if you are there for lunch or dinner, consider eating at Mexico (if for dinner make a reservation inside by the Volcano, if for lunch eat outside at the quick grill).  They serve up tasty Mexican fare and frozen margaritas.  Plus, there's a fun ride for the kids in the pavilion.  In terms of rides, my kids love spending time at the Living Seas on the Nemo Ride, listening to Turtle Talk with Crush, and watching the sharks in the live aquarium.  They also like Test Track (Fast Pass) and Soarin (Fast Pass).  My least favorite ride is Mission Space - a simulated rocket ride to outer space.  My friend and I decided that it is bad for women who’ve had kids because it made us feel like our equilibrium was off the entire day.  Our kids and husbands enjoyed it.

Animal Kingdom is another park that is smaller in size.  I’ve only been there twice, but the attractions that I liked were Dinosaur (a little scary for young kids), the Lion King Show, and the bug show in the Tree of Life.  We got stuck in the line for the safari for two hours because a giraffe crossed in front of the attraction vehicle and wouldn’t move out of the way.  This caused us to miss out on the roller coaster, Expedition Everest.

If Only We'd Known a 2 Hour Line Awaited Us

Tip 5:  Use Downtown Disney as a Time Filler
The day we arrive in Orlando is usually too busy to warrant spending the money on a park pass.  We have to check into the hotel, unpack, and stock up on necessities such as autograph books.  I like to fill the remaining time with a trip to Downtown Disney which gives the kids a glimpse of the fun we are going to have.  You can take a bus or cab there from any resort. Downtown Disney is filled with fun stores, like Legoland.  It has a carousel, a mini splash fountain for cooling off, an arcade, boat rides, and a variety of restaurants.  Our new favorite restaurant is the TREX Café.  Eating there is like taking a trip back in time.  The décor includes giant sea creatures, moving dinosaurs and an ice cave that changes color.  The cuisine is not bad if you like sandwiches and salads.  This restaurant entertained both the kids and the adults in our party.

Tip 6:  Let Your Daughter Be a Princess for the Day
From age two to age five, my daughters have gone through the princess phase.  They have spent hours dressing up in ball gowns and listening to fairy tales about their friends Belle, Aurora and Cinderella.  When my oldest daughter was about three, we stumbled upon the Bibidi Bobbidi Boutique in Downtown Disney.  This salon offers little girls the chance to pick out a princess hairdo and outfit and get made up by her very own fairy godmother.  There is now a second location in the castle at Magic Kingdom.  It is wise to make a reservation for the Bibidi Bobbidi Boutique well in advance of your trip.

Princess Annabel

Tip 7:  Take Advantage of Having Your Baby With You
If you have a baby or toddler who doesn’t meet the height requirement for a ride, here's a tip.  Walk up to the ride entrance and ask a cast member for a parent swap pass.  You'll be given a ticket for three to four people to use the Fast Pass line (which is much faster than the regular line).  They do this so that each parent can take a turn riding with their friends or older children.  I cannot say that I haven’t taken advantage of this situation and used my baby girl as a prop more than once for the same ride, going up to a different cast member each time. 

My Husband with Our Prop

Tip 8:  Enjoy An Evening At the Boardwalk
To escape the park madness in the evening, I like to head over to Disney’s Boardwalk.  It has a handful of great restaurants, a candy shop, funnel cake stands, and outdoor entertainers.  You can also rent a family bike (we’ve squeezed nine people on one) and ride around a lake passing by the Yacht & Beach Club, Epcot Center, and the Swan & Dolphin.  It’s a good time as long as you have someone in your party who knows how to steer.

Tip 9:  If Something Goes Wrong, Say Something
Disney prides itself on stellar service.  If something happens (like several rides you wanted to go on aren't open), let Guest Services know.  I received comped tickets when we got stuck in the safari line with two little toddlers and nothing to eat for two hours.

Tip 10:  Travel with Friends
We like to do Disney with family friends.  That way, my husband has a pal to golf with when he wants to play hookie from the park.  My kids have ride buddies who don’t argue with them.  And I have someone to sit by the pool and sip my favorite cocktail with after a long morning at the Magic Kingdom.

My Favorite Way to End a Disney Day (this is not a milkshake)

Like Mother, Like Daughter (this is a milkshake)

Behind the Seams

While most girls I knew growing up dreamt of their wedding day, my baby sis dreamt of her wedding dress.  Always the fashion maven, Meri’s been the one to give me wardrobe advice despite our 11 year age difference.  One summer when she lived with me to intern for a clothing company in New York City, she gave me a tour of her favorite haunts – Alice & Olivia, Kate Spade, and the shoe department at Bergdorf’s.  I took one look at the price tags and got cold feet.  She, meanwhile, kept hers warm in a pair of designer pumps. 

When Meri got engaged a few years later, I knew we had a daunting task at hand: to find the perfect dress.  In preparation for her big day (that would be the one when she walked into the wedding dress showroom, not the one when she walked down the aisle), she read through a stack of bridal magazines and watched a dozen episodes of Say Yes to the Dress.  Inspired by the “girl meets dress and falls in love” theme, Meri booked a trip to New York City to visit Kleinfeld’s and be taped for an episode of Say Yes to the Dress.  She couldn’t wait to experience her own happy ending, like all of the brides she’d seen on the show.

I was a little hesitant when she asked me to accompany her to Kleinfeld’s.  I remembered it as the meat market of wedding dresses from my shopping experience there a decade ago.  Poor service, too many choices, and a no-frills showroom were what stuck in my head about the store.  Meri told me that Kleinfeld’s had changed.  With a television series and a new showroom in the Garment District, she assured me that it’s one of the hottest places to find a wedding dress.

And so, one clear summer day, my daughter and I took the train into New York City and met Meri and her entourage of bridesmaids at Kleinfeld’s.  I must admit the new showroom wasn’t bad.  It had comfortable seating areas and a small display of fine wedding dresses.  After all of us signed releases and got miked, we were led to a sofa and positioned for the taping.  The show hosts then walked out and introduced themselves.  They asked what Meri’s dream dress would look like.  We knew from a test run she’d done at a small boutique that it would be in a mermaid style and that it would not be bright white or made of lace.  The hosts then whisked Meri off to the dressing room to try on dress number one.

We waited on the sofa with baited breath for nearly an hour.  When Meri appeared we were disappointed to see that dress number one was not in the mermaid style.  After an underwhelming response from us, she was led back to the dressing room to try on dress number 2.  Another 45 minutes passed before she appeared in a lace, mermaid-style gown.  Though she looked lovely, it was not what she envisioned for her California beach wedding.  She once again returned to the dressing room to try on dress number three.  We started growing restless on the sofa.  My daughter, who was six at the time, was getting tired and we were all a bit hungry.  As Meri emerged from the fitting room in dress number three, we were relieved to see that it met all of her criteria.  In fact, she looked stunning.  All of us complimented her at once.  Her maid of honor began to cry.  The designer of the dress, whom I'd never heard of, happened to be in the showroom and came over to tell Meri that the dress was made for her.  It seemed that dress number three could be the dress of Meri’s dreams, with the exception of an oddly placed bow on one side which the designer said could be removed at no extra cost. 

Just like the other brides on Say Yes to the Dress, Meri got her happy ending, right?  Not quite.  As she retreated to the fitting room with checkbook in hand (a non-refundable 50% deposit was required on the spot), I followed her back much to the dismay of the show hosts.  I encouraged her to think about the dress overnight.  If her love for the dress remained the same, she could come back the next day and buy it.  She’d only tried on three dresses and neither of us had heard of the dress designer.  It would be a very expensive lesson if she had second thoughts after leaving the store.

As is often the case, big sister knew best.  After a good night’s sleep, Meri decided not to buy dress number three.  In fact, she didn’t return to Kleinfeld’s.  Instead, she continued her search on the West coast and found a dress worthy of Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City.  On Meri’s wedding day, a group of Japanese tourists followed her around taking pictures.  They thought she was a celebrity because of her glamorous gown. 

Recently, my sister was contacted by the producer of Say Yes to the Dress.  Apparently, her episode is about to air.  She called to warn me that I may be portrayed as the villain who wouldn’t let her buy the dress she wanted.  I told her not to worry, it was a small price to pay for her dream wedding dress.

 Dress Number Three

Her Dream Wedding Dress

Looking Like a Star in her Glam Gown

Wanted: Built-In Playmates

Hearts are breaking at our house right now.  At the end of this week our neighbors of seven years are moving which means that my children will lose their built-in playmates.  In a world where kids are overscheduled with homework, sports, and after school activities like piano, dance and chess, it’s been a blessing not to have to schedule play dates too.  There aren’t many days when I don’t recall answering the door to find one of our neighbors asking if my kids could play.  Was it a distraction when they were doing homework or practicing piano?  Absolutely - but a welcome one.  Nothing makes me happier than looking out my window to see three brunettes and three blondes bouncing up and down on the trampoline.  What mom wouldn’t love to receive the treasures they’ve dug up from our yard, which is apparently filled with horseshoes, rocks and worms?  The kids have spent countless hours together riding bikes and scooters, catching frogs in the creek, having water gun wars, playing tree tag, holding yard sales, sledding between our lawns, singing along with my daughter’s karaoke machine and sleeping over at each other’s houses.  I thought my husband might have a heart attack the day he arrived home from work to find the kids hitting baseballs over our roof.  Or when they dug a trench in his precious green lawn to create a water way from our house to the creek and then proceeded to fill it with water from the hose.  I laughed about these activities and wasn’t quick to discourage them because they reminded me so much of my own childhood antics.

Our neighbors moved in a few weeks after we did, on a crisp spring day.  I remember grabbing my husband and one-year old daughter when I saw the moving van pull up to the house next door and rushing over with a bottle of wine to welcome them.  I was thrilled to learn that they had three young children, a daughter a few years older than mine and two little boys (I was pregnant with my son at the time).  Shortly after that, their little girl would stop by our house to drop off her old toys for my daughter who relished the gifts because they belonged to a girl she idolized.  My son has spent the last six years learning bike and video game tricks from the boys next door.  My two year old daughter has all of them wrapped around her little fingers – they’re always willing to push her on the swing or sit and have “tea” with her, despite their six to ten year age differences.

These have been good neighbors.  They brought over food and gifts when I gave birth to my son and youngest daughter.  They welcomed us into their home for Christmas the year we couldn’t travel because of medical reasons.  They treated my children like their own.  The truth is, in all these years, they’ve become more than neighbors, they’ve become family.  Fortunately, they are not moving far away, so we’ll be able to schedule play dates and family get-togethers.  I just hope that when I see a moving van pull up to the house next door it’s moving in a family with three young kids who are looking for some built-in playmates.

Hunting for frogs

Jumping on the trampoline

Swinging with my little one

 Joking around

But seriously, you can't leave me!

Golden Arches

When I picked up the kids from school last Wednesday, I suggested we go to McDonald’s for dinner since I had a volunteer event that night and my husband was stuck at work.  A symphony of praise erupted from the back of my minivan. 

“Woo hoo!  You’re the best mom ever!” yelled my 6 year old.

“I love you mom!” squealed my 8 year old.

“I’m so lucky,” said my 2 year old.

These reactions are probably pretty similar to what my mom would have heard from my sister, brother and I thirty years ago.  It’s amazing how a quick trip to McDonald’s is such a big treat for the family.  Every summer when I was little, we would meet my grandmother at the McDonald’s in Greencastle, Indiana, which was halfway between where we lived and where she lived.  We would stuff our faces with French fries, plain cheeseburgers and a nice cold Coca Cola as we looked out the window to see her car pull into the parking lot.  Once she arrived, there was much to discuss in the restaurant’s vinyl booths like what we wanted to do while staying with her (swimming at the Elks Club, going to a movie, visiting the circus, shopping at the mall).  The happy meal boxes would entertain us with jokes, mazes and little toys during the remainder of the drive to her house, the same way they keep my own children busy when we’re on a road trip.  Despite the fact that the menu has had some healthy additions like apple dippers, salad and fruit plates, my kids still prefer the things that I liked to order – plain cheeseburgers, chicken Mcnuggets, French fries and ice cream sundaes (at least I don’t let them order Coca Cola).  I’ve now upgraded to a Quarter Pounder with cheese, but skip the fries. 

I haven’t watched Fast Food Nation or Super Size Me.  I know that I should in an effort to provide a healthier lifestyle for my family, but friends told me that I’ll never want to eat fast food again.  And the kids would be devastated if they didn’t get to visit those golden arches a couple of times a month (it really has nothing to do with my emotional attachment to the restaurant).  So I think we’ll just go on a family bike ride after our next visit to McDonald’s because I don’t see how it would be possible to eliminate those special trips to Mickey D’s.

Still having fun in the vinyl booths

Busted!

Honesty is the best policy in our house.  Or so we thought until a few days ago when my husband discovered that someone had rifled through his wallet and taken a wad of cash.  No one seemed to know the whereabouts of the money when asked, but a quick search of the house revealed that my six year old son was the perpetrator.  The bills were lying out in the open on his dresser.  He was busted.

My husband was furious.  A barrage of heated questions followed:  How could you take money from me?  Was anyone with you when you took it?  Why did you do it? 

Instead of answering, my son just sobbed.  He couldn’t look my husband in the eyes.  He was promptly sent to his room for the night and grounded from seeing his friends.

After putting my daughters to bed, I went into say good night to him.  “Mom, I’m really sorry,” he said, still sniffling.  I told him that rather than apologize to me, he should apologize to his father.  To this he responded, “I’m really sorry I can’t buy you a nice birthday present.”  He had taken the money to buy me a gift.  When I heard this, I felt awful. 

The next morning, at breakfast, my husband pulled my son aside and told him that if he ever needed money for something, like buying a gift, all he had to do was ask and he’d help him out.

I, in turn, decided to take my son on a stroll down memory lane.  I pulled a few of the gifts he’d made for me over the years out of my closet and explained to him that these were some of the nicest gifts I’ve ever received.  There’s a jewelry box that he made out of shoe boxes (it even has a hinged lid), dresses that he sketched for me, bead bracelets, a painting he made with his feet, a festive flower pot, and more. 

That night as I celebrated my birthday with the kids, he gave me a home-made card.  Inside he’d written, “No matter what, I will always love my mom.”  This meant more to me than anything he possibly could have purchased with a wad of cash from his father’s wallet.

 My son's gifts to me last year

Much better than 1-800-Flowers

Gifts from Above

I get a little melancholy right around my birthday but it has nothing to do with the birthday blues.  Several years ago, a good friend passed away after a long battle with breast cancer.  I attended her funeral during the week of my 34th birthday.  If you’ve ever had a friend or family member die of cancer, you know what a terrible thing it is for someone to endure, especially someone you love. 

My friend was vivacious and inspiring.  She was full of great ideas for new businesses and television shows.  She was stunningly beautiful both inside and out.  She was always ready to listen to my problems even though they paled in comparison to hers.  She was incredibly positive and never gave up hope that she would live to see her young daughter grow up.  

She was the kind of friend who knew the perfect thing to say and the perfect gift to give.  She brought Godiva chocolate Santas at Christmas, giant stuffed bunnies at Easter, a hand painted music box when my son was born, and a glass bowl that was my favorite shade of blue for my housewarming party.  I still have many of these gifts.

The funny thing is I find that she continues to give me gifts years after her short life ended.  Because, when I think about her around my birthday, I remind myself to give my kids a hug and tell them that I love them.  To sing the songs I sang to them when they were babies.  To take an extra picture with them.  To write an entry in the journals I keep for them.  To tell them a story from when they were younger.   I remind myself to take joy from the little things I usually take for granted.   To take time to smile, to laugh, and to do things just for fun. 

I didn’t get to say good-bye to my friend.  She died less than an hour before I arrived at her apartment to see her one last time.  I only hope she knows how thankful I am for all of her gifts.

The Mom Filter

I come up with new product ideas all the time.  I can’t help it, thanks to my business school training.  Anytime I see an unmet need a business plan starts to form in my head.  My latest idea is for the Mom Filter.  Like the name implies, this product would edit what comes out of a mother’s mouth.  Perfect for days when she wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, she would put it on and instead of yelling, “Why on Earth are you wearing a winter coat when it’s the end of April?” to her son who never seems to listen, she would sweetly say, “Now that it’s spring, why don’t we retire this coat to the attic?”

“Get your shoes off the table!” would instantly become, “I would really appreciate it if you’d leave your shoes by the basement door.”

“Haven’t I told you 100 times to put your clothes in the hamper!”  would be rephrased to, “Would you please spend a few minutes tidying up your room?”

It also would work on her husband.  Arriving home from a long day at the office he’d hear, “Welcome home!  How was your day?” rather than, “Finally, you’re home!  The kids have been sick and are driving me nuts.”

The Mom Filter would be packaged in an attractive lipstick container.  One application of its special formula to the lips would do the trick for most days, resulting in a smile on her face and a song in her voice.  Multiple applications would increase the strength when needed.  Line extensions like the Silent Filter and Smart Filter would be launched within months of the Mom Filter and sold separately.  

The Silent Filter would act as a lip sealer for times when less is more.  It could be applied right before sporting events.  My daughter told me last fall that I embarrass her by cheering, “You can do it," “Take it down,” and “Block that ball!”  With the Silent Filter, my lips would be zipped and my daughter could breathe a sigh of relief on the soccer field.

The Smart Filter would be used to help with homework questions.  One would simply dab it on right as the kids get home from school.  Instead of saying, “I don’t know why they would ask you about pie in your math homework,” out would come, “Pi is 3.14159.   It is one of the most important mathematical constants because it is used in math, science and engineering.”

Another product line for the company would include the Dad Filter and related products, like the Special Occasion Filter (to use on his wife's birthday and date night).  These would take a little more time to develop because, while I have no doubt that moms would embrace a filter, I’m not so sure that dads would.  The Dad Filter would come in the unsuspecting form of a beer bottle.  One touch to the mouth and it’s magic would start working, unbeknownst to the  dad drinking it.

Coming soon to a drug store near you